Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
