WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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