So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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