ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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