Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
