the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
