my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
