Got a toothbrush?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder