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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!

  (708): View more from Illinois

  read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Tie

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• (925): View more from California

  I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

  (214): View more from Texas

  SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.

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