love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS