SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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