i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
