Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
