idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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