Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
