This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
fuck your aforementioned shoe
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
