those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
