direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
