It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize