That's when you crack a 10am beer
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize