Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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