Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
