these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
