If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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