The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
