I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
