No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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