Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
