i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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