So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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