You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
