there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
