can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
