i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i dont even know how to be here
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
