I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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