So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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