$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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