id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
