So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize