But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
