Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
