I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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