absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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