I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She's the barista slut.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I know her cup size but not her name....
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