Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
