Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Randomize
