In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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