this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
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We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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