i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
