Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
