It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
