hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
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As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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