everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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