I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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