Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
