its not stalking. its research.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
