I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
