Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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