My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
