i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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