Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
