im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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