Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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