in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
