Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
