But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
