i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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