I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize