I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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