Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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